Wednesday, October 12, 2016

So cunning you've become. I miss the girl you were. Many will. (Breakfast Poutine)

Breakfast Poutine
I struggled with this month's post. I wrote, I deleted. I wrote, I edited. I wrote, I sent things out for opinions. Finally I said, "Fuck it! I'm going to pump this out in an hour and see where the muses take me."

Last month I took advantage of good wind conditions and went sailing three nights out of the week. Haven't you heard? I'm working on becoming an old white man as soon as possible. It is a mildly frustrating hobby; you are at the mercy of the wind, consistently trimming your sails to accommodate, and sometimes sit dead in the water when the winds decide to disappear.

You are left, stuck somewhere in the middle; in the gap between where your are, what leverage you have, and where you want to be. Even the best sailors are at the mercy of the wind.

It's all a tiny bit arbitrary, like most important things in life. 

My amazing friend E, who joined me for the entire process of certification

Sometimes you wait an arbitrary 365 days for someone, because somehow that seems like the right amount of time to wait for them. 366 days just seems absurd. A year pining is certainly all you can possibly tolerate. Drifting is simply not a place I like to be.

I've heard that if you want to get somewhere fast, you take a boat with a motor. If you want to enjoy getting there, you take a sailboat. In my mind, depending on the wind might be unsuitable at times.

In the past few years I've become slightly too kind and agreeable. That's not me. My sister jokes, "Damn girl you thick...thick skulled! Get it? Because you're so stubborn." Hina: Plays well with others but will light a fire under your ass if needed.

I think it's time to put that delightful sailboat in the shed for a while and pull out the brilliant speedboat that I'm generally more accustomed to.

A Profile of Love: Dayalan and Dhammy

This week's love profile is about a person who never lets the winds steer, he is a go getter who has always followed his passion. A man who knew what he wanted and chased it the entire relationship.

1. You were in a long term relationship a few years ago. What did you learn from it?
Dayalan: I've always believed that anything is possible, as long as you want it hard enough - all you have to do is work for it. I still believe this, however I learnt that in a relationship, both people need to put in the effort. It isn't possible to truly fall head over heals in love with someone until you truly know and love yourself inside out. I spent time discovering myself and learning to be alone. More importantly, I learned to enjoy being alone which taught me that when somebody comes into your life, they should only make it better, not worse. So when I did meet the love of my life a little while later, I was ready to truly love with all my heart and soul - and it's been so easy!
2. How did you meet Dhammy?
Dayalan: I was out with the boys at Cargo in Shoreditch. I was standing outside in the courtyard when I felt the lingering gaze of two longing eyes upon me.  I asked my friend to check for me as I didn't want to make it obvious that I'd noticed.  He laughed it off telling me that she was probably looking at someone behind me - when a random stranger sitting nearby told us that actually the girl had been "seriously intensely starring" at me!
After throwing this in my mates face, I look over to the girl.  Now ordinarily when you look over at an Asian girl in a club, she'll immediately look away and act as if she had no idea you were there... this girl didn't do that - instead she maintains eye contact for almost two minutes!  It was love at first sight... and every sight after.  The girl had balls... so I walked over and told her "I feel like I need to introduce myself to you", she agreed and we spent the rest of the night getting to know each other.  We went on our first date two days later and within a week we were a couple and had said the "L word".

3. How did you know she was the one?
Dayalan: It was easy to know she was the one... after you've met the wrong ones over and over again, the right one sticks out like an adult Asian man at a Taylor Swift concert (yup, I've been there). More than that, we were the same person at the same stage in our lives. As a completely narcissistic man who loves himself, it only made sense that I end up with somebody exactly like me!
4. How do you plan on proposing?
(At the time of this question Dayalan had not proposed. However, we now have a video of the actual thing!) CLICK HERE

Jump over fire to get the ring

Dayalan and Dhammy run the instagram @weare_superhuman: A fitness, health, and motivation site. Congrats to this amazing twosome!

For these two champions I needed to make the breakfast of champions, Poutine!!
Breakfast Poutine
Serves One
Sausage Gravy
1 Sweet Italian Sausage
1 Tbsp Flour
1 Tbsp Butter
2/3 Cup Milk
1/4 Beef Bullion Cube 
Salt and Pepper to Taste

1/2 Cup Frozen Tater Tots
Cheese Curds (if you can fucking find them) or a handful of young white Cheddar
1 Egg (Sunny Side Up)
Chives for Garnish

1. Saute the sausage until cooked through 

2. Remove cooked sausage from pan, leaving behind the drippings

3. Add flour and butter to pan to make a roux

4. Cook the roux for 1 to 2 minutes

5. Add milk and bullion cube

6. Allow to thicken, about 5 to 8 minutes. Add salt and pepper

7. Add sausage back in and keep must keep it warm for the cheese to melt later!

8 Cook tater tots (follow package instructions) and sunny side up egg (I forgot to take a picture of the egg, probably because I love eggs and ate it immediately)

9. To assemble the Poutine, top the hot tater tots with cheese, sausage gravy, egg, and chives.

10. Eat that bastardized Canadian MOFO and do a Tough Mudder Race

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